Oh how the pastries have fallen....

Why, Dunkin' Doughnuts, why?  

I used to like you a lot--your 24/7 operating hours, your over-hyped coffee that was still marginally better than deli coffee, your nice location on my way to work on Sundays, and the cheap addictiveness of your doughnuts.

And then you had to go all crazy on me.

Other people less lazy about blogging have already talked about this, but here I go anyway.  

You pulled the Rachel Ray ad from your website after several wingnuts complained that the scarf she was wearing looked like a traditional Palestinian kaffiyeh, and thus advocated terrorism.  You then posted an apology online.  

SERIOUSLY?!

There are so many things wrong with this that I hardly know where to start. Let's start with the more esoteric, shall we?

The kaffiyeh is a traditional Middle Eastern head covering.  It has enjoyed widespread use in many countries, not just the Palestinian territories.  Generally, the color palette indicates the wearer's place of origin.  (Black on white is Palestine, Red on white is mainly Jordan, white on white is the Gulf, etc.)  And even then, no one can quite agree on the symbolism of the colors--different Palestinian groups favor different designs--the most prominent of which (in the West) was Yasir Arafat, who wore a distinctive black-on-white one.  Along with the Jordanian kings, and the Saudi royal family--lots of pictures of them online--look them up.  And Lawrence of Arabia, and anyone who had to walk around in the desert for a prolonged period of time.  So there's no way the symbol is limited to the Palestinians, or stranger yet, Palestinian militancy.

But, hey, didn't it first really enter the American consciousness when Arafat showed up?  He wore one!  That makes all kaffiyeh-wearing wrong!

Yes, he did, in fact,  the PLO wore them all the time, and so does Fatah (favoring the ones that Arafat used to wear.)  But, if you haven't done your homework, then you don't know that Arafat wasn't an Islamist.  In fact, he didn't get along well with them at all.  They (Hamas, mainly) defeated his Fatah party in the recent elections.     Remember the whole Fun in Gaza Summer 2007?  Fatah doesn't get along well with Islamist political parties--they tend to fight to the death.  Last time I was in Ramallah, half of the legislature had fled the city, in advance of the anniversary celebration of Fatah.  They didn't want to get arrested as a celebratory gesture.  

So really, EVERYONE in the region wears head scarves.  No one color-coordinates with the people whose politics they endorse.  It doesn't symbolize advocacy of anything, except the position of not dying from heat stroke.  

Ok, then, maybe the simple scarf isn't so evil after all.  It looks nice, keeps you cool in summer, warm in winter, what else could you want?

Oh wait, there's one more thing.  One more reason why this is ridiculous.  (wait for it.....)

IT WASN'T A KAFFIYEH.  NOT AT ALL.

That's right.  It was a lovely silk paisley scarf that terrified the wingnutty side of America.  GOD.

There are SO MANY things that bother me about this--the implication that I'm being lectured to by a SCARF, the implied lumping together of all Palestinians, everywhere, always, into 'terrorists', or the fact that it was all a LIE to begin with.  How paranoid do you have to be, how terrified of the big, scary Other, that you invent this story and run with it?  Have we gotten so afraid of shadows that we start screaming stereotypes and wrong information whenever we find the least opportunity?  

Belgium.  I'm moving to Belgium.  

Hallmark theology

(am I blogging again so soon out of guilt for not blogging for a year?  Or because I'm bored without furniture?  You decide!!)

I have a younger brother, who works as a bouncer, at a bar, in Boston.  (Apparently, it has other job benefits besides alliteration.)  He wants to be a writer of some variety, or just to be the next Jon Stewart.  He and I have certain things in common, including a tendency to get bored easily, and to amuse ourselves with random jokes and sarcasm.

His latest endeavor is Christian cards.  At Christmas, he and I went to a local Hallmark store, and he asked this middle-aged woman where the religious cards were kept.  I thought she was going to hyperventilate, she was so happy.  She took him right over to the 'Inspirational' section, and proceeded to show him various cards that she found profound, and the boy just stood there, all thoughtful and respectful and whatnot.  Little did that poor woman know that he was just going to get them home, and mock them without mercy or pity.  (the Boy on the Creed:  'He will come again?'  Seriously?!  If I sleep with a girl, and don't call her, it's pretty clear I'm not coming back--how come we haven't gotten the hint after 2,000 years?!?')

So I've decided to share my graduation card with the interwebz, because it is one of his finer efforts.  The actual card text is in regular, the Boy's comments are in italics.

(Front of card:)

GOD is with you as you Graduate!

What makes us special is the signature of God on our lives. --Max Lucado

(Arrow to Lucado quote)  Taught Sunday school to 4yr olds;  that's where the quote's from.

(Inside the card, front flap:)

"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

If he didn't know his own plans that HE made, wouldn't that make you question if the Lord has his shit together?

(Inside card: text)

Wishing you a future alive with promise, rich with possibilities, filled with the wonder of His Love for you.  Happy Graduation.

What I love about this card is that it only talks about God loving you.  It makes no indication that the sender of the card has ever met, or even knows you.  The jist of it is: " God loves a graduate, and Boy! does his plan involve you in some possible way!'  While making no mention of 'Oh, by the way--this card isn't from God.  It's actually from a person you've met before."  Cards are stupid.

Gee, thanks brother!  :)

Somewhere Different Now

So, yes, I haven't posted in like a year.  Can we just not dwell on that?  Just ignore it in the hopes that the giant elephant will go away?  Thanks.

In recent news, I have moved!  To Virginia Beach, and a real (more than one room) apartment!  It features amazing, unheard of luxuries---a freezer!  A washer/dryer!  Cabinets under the counter!  It's AMAZING!!!!

But also, it has a new and wide variety of ways to terrify my dog.  Now, as those of you who have been aroun

d in the past year (not me so much) know that my dog is a wonderful, affectionate being with a remarkable cuteness.  You also know that he is a gaping hole of emotional need and fear.  When he sees me come home, he doesn't run and jump on me, he runs and throws himself down at my feet, staring at me until I pet him.  This continues until my arm cramps up, or I leave again, in which case, he lies on the sofa, miserable and dejected-looking.  He is deathly afraid of anything stick-like, chihuahuas, people vacuuming upstairs, cats, grass, you name it.

So now that we've moved to a less urban place, my apartment complex surrounds a pretty lake, with pretty ducks, and a pretty fountain.  See?  (This is the view from my balcony.  I have a balcony.  Don't hate me.)

So now Bowie's new phobia is the water.  He'll sniff right up to the edge, then leap back and cower.  Then he'll do it again a few seconds later.  While this is amusing to watch, it makes for really boring walks.  Next week, I hope to introduce him to the ducks!  

Also:  this.    My senior sermon from back in November.  The reason that certain Filipino priests now run up to me and yell 'Surprise!' then laugh hysterically.  (and yes, they did spell my name wrong.  Oh well.)